We’re in Toronto. Anna and I took Air Canada up here, and we’re taking a connecting flight to Beijing. On the way from New York to Toronto, we were treated to the cursory bi-lingualism of Air Canada. Now that we’re on line for a Air Canada flight to China, we’re subjected to all pilot/flight attendant directions in English, then French, then Chinese.

It takes a very long time to run through all the languages. Announcements are way longer, and any peace one could find on a jumbo jet with recycled filtered flatulence as oxygen and spicy twigs as snacks is broken by a mini UN coming from First Class.

We should be going now. I have a date with a personal television where the passenger in front of me’s head is supposed to go.

-David

My official documents arrived in the mail yesterday. It’s for real.

Also, after a lengthy and nearly stroke-inducing episode with the Jinan Exit/Entry Authority, I am now entering the country on a business visa rather than a work visa, which, other than allowing me to forego any residence permits and physical exams, means I can’t leave China for the extent of my contract. It is a single entry visa that can be renewed after the first six months. I’ve already vowed that the first thing I do when I get back to the states next year is head straight to Texas to see my nephews. By that time there’ll be two. Feel free to hold me to it.

In other news, my Chinese has sort of taken a backseat to other things recently, so I’m a little worried about the single month I have left to get comfortable with that situation. The students I’ve been tutoring/observing at IEI are wonderful, and the teachers are amazing. My chinese-movie-watching has sort of stagnated as well in favor of taking a few trips here and there and a renewed interest in Harry Potter and cable television. All in all, I guess I haven’t been doing as well as I’d planned this month, but as this is my last week with IEI, hopefully I’ll have a little more time in the coming weeks to get back on track.

Still workin, still truckin, still trying to wrap my brain around this China thing. OH, and I sent David a turducken for his birthday on Sunday. Hah!

-Anna

Wow. This blog almost got changed to “MY First Year in China” this week.

Visa, work application, various restrictions aplenty.

It hurts to write about it.

-David

Well, it’s out now. I’m moving to China.  I’m taking an English teaching position at Shandong University, and guess what – yep, I’m relatively terrified. Relative, that is, to how surprisingly cavalier I was at the start of this whole process. “So dad, David mentioned this thing about China. If I don’t get a job, I think I want to go with him.” Let it be known that this asian travel/blogging virgin is hardly, if ever, “cavalier” about anything, short of her broccoli consumption. Admittedly, I’m not usually one for the fly-by-the-seat-of-my-pants method of life, except in certain cases – one being travel. But, China? I mean, it looks that way.

If someone had told me four years ago that I’d be moving to a large Asian nation – something that has been and remains one of my biggest fears – upon graduation from Clemson (with my theatre degree, no less) I’d have, well, you know. Laughed. Yes, laughed. No, I’m not enrolling in some dramaturgy MFA program somewhere. I’m not interning at a large regional theatre. I’m not moving to Chicago or New York. I’m not even going home to bide my time and hoard some cash. I’m running away to the land of noodles and tea, Mao and cheap labor, the great wall and karaoke.

One of the many things interested parties inquire about upon mention of my impending future abroad: “So, do you speak Chinese then?”

Shit. The first question. To my great displeasure I am forced to admit defeat on this front. No, I do not now, nor have I ever spoken Chinese in the slightest – barring only my limited time as translator and language coach on Self Destruction Opera last fall. Minor detail, right? David bought me a textbook and workbook set called Integrated Chinese, so I hope that’ll keep me busy. Otherwise I’m considering investing in an online subscription to Rosetta Stone. Oof.

So welcome to Mauled and Deep Fried, Our first year in China. The title (compliments of yours truly) simultaneously refers both to what we fear will happen, and what we’re counting on. For the time being, until my departure in about two months, I’m undertaking my newest and most massive dramaturgy project ever. Operation: Everything China. Movies, books, blogs, maps, advice columns, news articles, cookbooks, and travel journals have taken over the space where my brain used to be. This set of thoughts, images, ideas, musings, and (likely) frustrations should serve as a chronicle, then – a history. A narrative of the life I never thought I’d be leading alongside the partner of my choosing. My wonderful David. My wonderful life.

-Anna

I don’t know why when I think of the word “Blog,” it leaves a pejorative taste in my mouth. There is something I inherently dislike about being a part of a collective that deals mainly with transcribing your thoughts, with no filter of its relevance or merit out into the ether, only to be read by random people with a most likely penchant for skimming through webpages with the dismissive behavior rightfully associated with an impatient audience.

Also, they might be naked.

And reading this in between downloading yaoi1 and Twilight slash fic. 2

However, a recurring pitfall of my writing is a constant worry of how it would be perceived before even being read, so it’s in my best interests to just release myself from any preconceived notions of “the blog,” and write as if I’m not adding to the favored medium of people that use the noun/adjective “favorite” as a verb, and who create words like “blogosphere.”3

In August of 2009, I will be heading to Jinan, China for no less than one year. This is the first entry of a travel journal, a food journal, a ever growing artist statement, and several other hats. I will be going with Anna, my paramour, my dramaturg, my support mechanism, and even more hats.4 She’ll be making entries into this as well.

In later entries, I’ll let you all know more about this exodus to the far East 5.But for now, hello. Welcome to my blog. Or…“Anti-blog. 6” I can’t tell you what this is going to turn into, but I promise I’ll pour a lot of energy into it, and work to make it worth reading.

-David

1- Yaoi being a popular term for media (mostly comic book format, ie: manga) that focus on homoerotic relationships, usually created for female authors intended for female readers.

2- A genre of fan fiction, literature created by fans of original material, that depicts the characters of said subject engaging in explicit adult relationships. Examples of such would be X-Files Slash Fic (Mulder and Skully,) Twilight (Edward and Jacob,) and Harry Potter (Hermione and the entire graduating house of Slytherin.) A common denominator in slash fic is the material used tends to be no older than fifteen years, which explains the lack of “Three’s Company” or “Gilligan’s Island” slash fic, despite its infinitely rich source material.

3- I’m still not setting up a Twitter account.

4- Also a pretty tremendous poet. But not MY poet, as one can’t really take claim of a poet as their own possession. Except Mad Libs.

5- Mainly China, but we may check out Korea or Japan. Australia, despite being directly south of China, does not constitute as being a part of the Far East, due to the Australian people taking a “Western” view on things. I wonder what the global outlook is on the populous southwestern city of Dubai, which is swiftly becoming the Myrtle Beach of the United Arab Emirates.

6     – I’m fairly sure this is just a blog, though.